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Please, can someone give back our Tilli?

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This post is an appeal from someone called King Kumar. We at the Reverse Sweep are more than happy to oblige what is obviously a very important cause.

"I am appealing for help because our opening batsman Tilli Dilshan has gone missing and been replaced with an impostor who doesn't know one end of the bat from the other.

If any of you have seen the film 'The Prince and the Pauper' or read the book by Mark Twain, you'll have some idea of what our team is going through. In the film, as Henry VIII of

England lies dying, his heir the nine year old Edward Tudor comes across a peasant boy who is his doppelganger. Being young boys, they decide it would be a great jape to swap places and the audience is left on tenterhooks waiting to see if the peasant boy will be crowned King as Edward V.

The same has happened to our cricket team. Over the last year, we promoted Tilli to open the batting in all forms of the game. Prior to that he had been a useful but inconsistent middle-order batsman and electric fielder. But he was a revelation as opener. He invented new cricketing strokes, scored centuries at will in all forms of the game; and in test cricket his strike rate was unequalled by all except a certain Virender Sehwag.

He was even announced as a graduate form the Sehwag School for batting.

We first thought something was wrong in the IPL. You see Tilli plays for the Delhi Daredevils and he (or as it turns out, the impostor) only scored 44 runs from six innings with two ducks and an average of seven. But I just thought that it was a case of bad form after a stellar year, and to be honest I had my own problems with my Kings side.

But now, I know that the real Tilli has gone missing. We've flown to the West Indies for a little tournament and we played New Sheepland first. The impostor played and managed to score 3 off 19 balls. The real Tilli would have scored 40 runs in that time. That was the irrefutable proof we needed.  

So, please cricket fans around the world, please can you help us find our Tilli. And I have a reward for you if you do - I'll give you person who finds Tilli two of my Kings players Sree Rant and Fat Boy Yuv - I think you know who I mean."


( Click here to know more about David Green )



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