The ICJFFC (International Cricket Just for Fun Committee) has decided and published the intent to put the following tags on bowlers. Here are the tags created and the bowlers associated with them till now. “These tags also function to remind us of the rich history and heritage of out game. I am surprised they were not implemented so far”, the director of the ICJFFC iterated. We also caught up with a few of the bowlers after the announcement to understand their reactions.
Tag: Sanath Jayasuriya destroyed our careers
Aamer Sohail and Manoj Prabhakar
Sohail: Well I am a commentator now and it’s been a long time but I do remember that I had joined a course “How to improve your English accent and become a rare Pakistani commentator” with Waqar (Younis) to get rid of the nightmares.
Prabhakar: Well I would love to have played more but these things happen in world cricket. But can you please convince my family members not to vote for that buffoon who is participating in the dance reality show. I just can’t stand it anymore!!
Tag: I used to bowl fast before I became Indian McGrath
Munaf Patel
Munaf: !@#$%. How dare the ICCJFFC tag me like this. Some stupid people have also nicknamed me ‘Angry young man from Gujarat’. I just play the game with passion that’s all. As far as bowling slow is concerned I just wanted to prolong my career. I actually feel proud to be called Indian McGrath!
Tag: I forgot how to swing the ball back in
Irfan Pathan
Pathan: It was like black magic. As soon as I got rid of my curly locks, I lost the art of inswing. No more questions please!
Tag: I bowl negative lines with no variation whatsoever
Ashley Giles and Paul Harris
Giles: Well I am thankful to Nasser for providing me with the opportunity of creating a world record of hitting Sachin’s legs the most number of times as I bowled round the wickets.
Harris: We had heard a rumour that Yuvraj Singh would also be tagged like us. But I heard he was later moved to the “Pie Chuckers who win you tournaments” tag.
Pie Chuckers who win you tournaments
Yuvraj Singh
Yuvraj: Thanks to KP for the tag. It was a well-kept secret that I improved my bowling skills by chucking pies at a poster of KP after I had heard of the tag but alas, now it’s in the open!
Tag: I bowl a Chinaman but I’m hardly Chinese
Brad Hogg and Paul Adams
Hogg: Actually the tag given to me is incorrect. I do have partially chinky eyes and my cousin sister is married to a Chinese guy. I am part Chinese for God’s sake!
Adams: I know I deserved it but my neck and upper back still pains. I should have checked my action at an earlier stage!
Tag: I am a spinner but I don’t spin the ball
Ravindra Jadeja and Roelof van de Merwe
Jadeja: I got millions for bowling straight so no complaints! Wink!
De Merwe: Luckily I played enough matches for my country before people started realizing that!
Tag: I can spin the ball on glass, dust and water
Shane Warne and Muttiah Muralitharan
Warne: I even tried it in ice and it worked but that put an end to my short ice hockey career.
Tag: I’ll never ball a Yorker during death overs
Zaheer Khan and Dale Steyn (both were unavailable for comment)
Tag: God save my team if I’m bowling at the death
Ashish Nehra
Nehra: This is ridiculous! Why do people forget the innumerable matches which I have won for my team while bowling at the death like ummm... Let me remember... I know... wait!!!
Tag: Hayden and Gilchrist made me a young commentator
Shaun Pollock
Pollock: I vividly remember it (the day when Hayden and Gilly made mincemeat out of me) and that is also the reason why I did not want them in my Mumbai Indians team.
Tag: I am a deadly swing bowler only in South Africa!
S SreeSanth
Sree: That is a partial truth. I was also a deadly swing bowler in the gully near my house where I used to play in my childhood.
Tag: Most evil glance before delivery
Muttiah Muralitharan
Murali: I just hate batsmen. Period.
Tag: The world’s most cursing pigeon
Glenn McGrath
McGrath: Well it’s not my fault that other bowlers don’t have birdy nicknames otherwise there would be several variety of cursing bird cricketers for sure!
Tag: I still get nightmares of Gibbs at Wanderers
Mark Lewis
Lewis: Well I used to, I can’t deny that. But nowadays I get nightmares of other domestic batsmen.
Tag: Hairstyle or burnt noodles?
Lasith Malinga and Ryan Sidebottom
Malinga: I don’t care. But I have got an offer for a Maggi ad and I am going to get a good sum. Thanks ICJFFC.
Tag: Unorthodox is our game
Debasis Mohanty, Lasith Malinga and Paul Adams
Mohanty: I remember it all started when my teacher asked me to raise both my hands during punishment at school. From then at the point of delivery I always used to see her face! What else could I do?
Tag: Keep the ball close to your heart
Saurav Ganguly
Ganguly: Well it’s obvious isn’t it? I follow my heart first always!!